Lately it seems like the tagline “Living my best life” is ALL over the place. But what does that even mean? And how many of us are even TRULY doing that?

For me if you asked me what living my best life means, I would say being in a place of Joy as much as possible. En-JOY-ing my life. But if you asked me if I am ALWAYS doing that I would have to admit, no, not all of the time, but wayyy more than I used to thanks to the exercise I am going to teach you.

Personally “Living my best life” isn’t about social media worthy vacation photos, or a picture-perfect life. Living my best life for me means saying YES more to things that make me happy and NO to things that make me unhappy. Sounds pretty simple, right?

We all know that feeling when something does NOT bring us joy. More than likely if it’s not bringing you joy then it’s probably bringing you stress, anxiety, anger, depression, negative attitudes, moodiness etc.

But for most of us we have a hard time saying no to those things. A lot of times these things are things we think we “have” to do. Things we feel are non-negotiable, required of us, or just “the way it is”. Things we have been doing our entire life, and more often than not, they are things we don’t even know how to begin to stop doing.

However, none of those are absolutely true statements. We all have free will and free choice. So, at the end of the day if you are doing something that doesn’t bring you joy, well ultimately you are choosing it. And choosing to not live your best life.

I can hear you all right now… “But sometimes in life we have to do things we do not want to do”. Well first off let me say no, that’s a story we have all been conditioned to believe. Nobody “has” to do anything. But of course, more than likely we will have to choose to do things that are not totally En-JOY-able from time to time, but again that’s a choice.

And it’s totally ok to make that choice on occasion. Maybe you have to choose to compromise with your significant other and do something that isn’t  top of your list for how you want to spend your time. Or you have to make a sacrifice for your child or family that is not something you like to do but you will do it for them….. again, totally cool. You just need to make sure that you are saying YES to things that make you happy more often than saying yes to things that make you unhappy. That’s the thing about living your best life, and free will/free choice…. You are the only one in control of it!!!

In order to help guide you to say YES more to Joy and NO more to lame crap that stresses you out we need to first be aware of each of those things. Sometimes we don’t even realize how many things are causing us to be unhappy until we are legit just miserable, and THEN we decide to evaluate our lives. Instead of letting things get to that point I suggest trying this fun, easy exercise to help you figure out what stuff to keep in your life and what stuff to ditch.

I learned this from one of my favorite podcasts “The Cabral Concept” with naturopathic doctor Stephen Cabral. It was SO eye opening and SO impactful. But most of all SO SIMPLE.

1. Take a piece of paper and fold it in half vertically
2. Open it back up and on the very top write “Things that make me feel…..”
3. On one half of the paper write “Happy” and on the other side write “Unhappy”
4. Make a list under each, so that the two lists are side by side.
5. If something does both, then write it in the middle, but try not to do that often. Really check in with your feelings and pick a side for each thing.

 Some examples of a few things I have had on my list are:

Happy- Girls trips, hiking, angel cards, sunshine, the beach, books, feeling taped in/aligned with my spirituality /beliefs, meeting new people/making connections.

Unhappy- Having debt, comparing myself to others on social media, being too busy/disconnected from my center, Clutter, Yoga, Working past 7pm. 

Now once you make your lists, really look at them and think how you can A. Do more of what makes you happy and B. Do less of what doesn’t. Notice I didn’t say eliminate all together what doesn’t make you happy? That’s because I realize that’s probably really challenging, but just try to do LESS of it as much as possible. Basically, do your best to make the happy list super long and the unhappy list super short.

If checking emails is on your unhappy list, maybe you reduce the time you spend on that. If you cannot do that maybe you figure out a way to hire an assistant or make a goal/plan to be able to in the future. Even if you can’t eliminate what makes you unhappy right now, make a plan/goal for how you hope to reduce it and eliminate it in the future. 

Some of the solutions I  have found to my unhappy category were: I unfollowed any accounts on social media that were not serving my highest good, reduced my evening clients so that I only work past 7 one time a week MOST of the time, not always. I started hiking more, spent more time at the beach, and found a yoga studio I actually like. 

I literally reference my list all year. It has made such a huge impact and really helped me weed out what I didn’t want and make it a point to incorporate more of what I did want. 

Now I make a list every year. It makes such a big difference and keeps me in a place of joy or at least on the road to joy!  

In order to make big happy changes we need to be aware and take action! Hope this helps ya do both!